I could not fall asleep last night! This never...never happens to me. I laid awake for over a half hour thinking about all the stuff I had to do on Monday, what I needed to remember to bring to school, chores I had to do before I left, and even what emails I needed to get off early. I think it continued throughout the night because I did not sleep well at all.
Apparently all that forced list making and lack of sleep didn't really pay off. I walked out the door and drove half way to school without the most necessary device....my headphones. Really, no work can be done without them. Well it could, but I think my study group just might kill me.
I thought I was getting up this morning on the right foot. I got out of the house early which was supposed to secure me a good parking spot. With all the back tracking, I parked in my usual spot, a good 10 minute walk away.
I hope this isn't a preview of the rest of the week!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Grandma
Carlotta KoczorowskiOctober 2, 1921 - March 29, 2007
One year ago today, my grandmother passed away. I thought today I'd share what I read at her memorial service.
When young children are asked, “What do you want to be when you grown up?” the typical answers are occupations such as a firefighter, teacher, or astronaut. But when I was four and the question was posed to me, I proudly answered, “When I grow up, I want to be a grandma.” Not only did I say it, but my preschool teacher actually wrote it down. This was because of the impression my grandma made on me, even at such a young age, and on everyone else she met. The times I spent with my grandmother have made a lasting impression on my life.
From the time I was little, I can always remember Grandma being in my life. I love spending the night at her apartment in Dundee because she always made sure it was a special time just for her and me. She loved to collect long, dangly, and what some might even consider totally gaudy necklaces. She’d always keep them hanging low enough for me to grab them and spend hours in front of the mirror with them on. We’d also spend time after dinner playing dominoes at the kitchen table. Our rows would get so long; in order to keep them on the table, we’d have to turn them diagonally. We would also go and play bingo down in the common area. Grandma would always keep bingo chips, a magnetic wand, and change in a change purse especially for me. I always had a great time, even if I didn’t win a whole lot. We’d return home and get ready for bed. Grandma would turn on her hypnosis relaxation tape, we’d practice our deep breathing exercises, and we’d drift off to sleep together.
And it seems like I woke up and 10 years had passed. At sixteen, I was driving and loving my new found freedom. Even with this invigorating transformation, I tried to spend time with Grandma. She and I would have lunch dates at Big Boy near her apartment. We’d sit, talk, and usually complain about the cleanliness. If she wasn’t coming to stay at our house that weekend, I would run her by the grocery store to pick up necessities. I’m glad I could help her and spend time with her at the same time. During that time, she would also come and support me at softball games, awards ceremonies, and my high school graduation.
However, after graduation came and went, I moved off to Iowa for college. Though the miles made it tough to keep in close contact with Grandma, I would always take time on vacations away from school to visit. Mom, Grandma, and I would take trips to the mall where we’d sit and people-watch. But for Grandma, watching always turned into starting up a conversation with a total stranger, she was just that friendly with anyone she came in contact with. We’d also go to Mr. Freeze where she would get a small cup of chocolate ice cream, sometimes even with a face. Without fail, after being handed the cup, she would announce with wide eyes that there was a lot of ice cream and she didn’t know how she was going to finish it. She would always manage.
Grandma and Mom also made a trip out to Iowa to visit me. I got to show them around campus and the city. They came during Homecoming Weekend, so we had dinner with a few of my friends and then watched the parade downtown. I was really happy that I got to share my new life with Grandma.
As time moved closer to college graduation and the beginning of med school, Grandma’s health began to decline and she moved into the Goerlich Center or the Garlic Center as Grandma fondly called it. Even during that time, she would always have a smile, a laugh, and an “I love you” every time I went to visit. We’d take walks down to the birdcage to watch the birds build nests and answer our calls. We’d also spend time talking and laughing with the staff. They were amazing with her. They treated her as more of a friend than a patient. On my last visit, a few days before Grandma passed away, she had missed dinner because she was sleeping. Once she woke up, Mom brought me some food and I started feed her. She sat there peacefully, like a young child covered with a blanket and I fed her. We didn’t talk, nothing needed to be said. I was there to help and support her when she needed me most. At that moment, Grandma taught me so much about humility and the human spirit. It was a very special moment that she and I shared.
The whole journey Grandma experience in life and the part that I got to share with her has given me a deep and profound purpose in life. I knew after seeing the battle my grandmother fought and the struggle my family experience that I wanted to devote my life to treating patients with Alzheimer’s disease and hopefully finding better treatments and possibly a cure. Grandma has given me the strength and resolve to embark on a twenty year educational process. And I will think about her every day. She will be a part of every patient I treat and we will be a part of every family I counsel and guide.
Though my dream at four years old of being a grandma probably won’t pay the bills, even then, I knew that my grandmother was and would continue to be an inspirational person in my life. She made a lasting impression on me and will continue to be a guiding force for me. I’ll never forget all the memories Grandma and I made together and I know, today, Grandma has all those memories of our special times back, too.
Friday, March 21, 2008
SB
I'm FINALLY on Spring Break! My family gets here tomorrow. And I'm cleaning the house......what a way to start it off.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Match Day Mishap
Match Day is an exciting day for any 4th year medical student. Students across the country open an envelope in front of their medical school class and families and proudly announce where they will be doing their residency training. It's exciting to see the tears, hear the shouts of joy, and know....someday.... I'll be up there too.
Today, I sold yearbooks before our Match Day to the graduating seniors. Since I was down there, I watched most of the ceremony. All the letters are in a box, so students are picked randomly to come up and announce their match. Some bring up their families or children to celebrate on stage. It was really fun to watch.
Afterwards I went back out to finish up the sales. Two head honcho deans came out and started talking to a lady that works in the SOM next to me. Apparently one letter was missing. A girl matched, but didn't have her named called. BIG whoops there. She was super happy with her placement but was bawling since she didn't get to read it off. I completely understand. She worked hard for 4 years and didn't get the satisfaction in the end. I'd make everyone come back into the auditorium!
Great, now something ELSE totally unnecessary to stress over for the next 5 years.
Today, I sold yearbooks before our Match Day to the graduating seniors. Since I was down there, I watched most of the ceremony. All the letters are in a box, so students are picked randomly to come up and announce their match. Some bring up their families or children to celebrate on stage. It was really fun to watch.
Afterwards I went back out to finish up the sales. Two head honcho deans came out and started talking to a lady that works in the SOM next to me. Apparently one letter was missing. A girl matched, but didn't have her named called. BIG whoops there. She was super happy with her placement but was bawling since she didn't get to read it off. I completely understand. She worked hard for 4 years and didn't get the satisfaction in the end. I'd make everyone come back into the auditorium!
Great, now something ELSE totally unnecessary to stress over for the next 5 years.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
All In a Day's Work
Seriously, I'm a walking trap for near disaster.
First, I have to preface my stories with the fact that I'm not trying to make my school look bad. I do overall feel safe, but these are just two situations that have happened in the last couple months.
A few weeks ago, I was studying on campus on a Saturday afternoon. I usually study in a lounge right inside a main entrance into the school. These doors are usually unlocked until 6 pm on weekends. Around 3, a guy walks in. I can only really see his legs because he was standing in front of a stair case that blocks most of my view. However, he was pacing and talking really loud. I was listening to music and assumed he was on his cell phone. After about 5 minutes, he sits down on some stairs about 50 feet from me and just stares at me. I started feeling the primitive feeling that something just wasn't right. He continued to yell, stare at me, then cuss when I wouldn't answer him. I packed up my stuff and went up to a classroom on another floor.
About 45 minutes later, I went back down and he was gone. I decided to stay down there and continue to study. About 5 minutes later, the cops show up asking about the guy. I told them what happened and they said they were going to look for him. After about an hour, one of the cops came back to see if I was alright. Apparently the guy had called the cops on himself, saying he was wanted, and told them where he was. Smart cookie! The cop assured me that even if I just feel uncomfortable that I should still call the police. He asked if I knew the number. I looked at him with a dumbfounded look....uhhhh 911 was all I could get out with a slight chuckle? The whole while thinking, "Does he not know this has been drilled into my head since before kindergarten?" He looked at me with an equally dumb look, but because he thought I was an idiot. "No, you can call the NON-emergency number"
Today after an MD/PhD meeting, I was walking across campus to get to my next meeting of the day. I called Anthony for a quick hello. As I was passing through the pedestrian bridge, I hear over a walkie-talkie, "......DO NOT APPROACH. He has red hair and is wearing a black trench coat. 6'2"......" Something wasn't right. I turned to my friend to ask what was going on. He didn't know and didn't really seem to care. I hung up with Anthony and started trekking across campus. In the hospital hallway, I stopped to talk with my lab manager about a couple things as she was going back to the lab after working out. A lady comes up to us and asks if we see cops at the end of the hallway. We said no. She repeated that there WERE cops and we needed to get out of here because there was a gunman somewhere with a rifle. Wonderful. We duck into the bathroom and then finally decide to take a few back hallways back to our lab. We made it just fine though we were a little creeped out.
Apparently it ended up not being as big a deal as it was made out. A person was seen with a "potential weapon" but the police couldn't locate them. However, I'm still waiting for my emergency text message that is supposed to alert us when there is a problem on campus.
As I started walking back across campus, I passed the cop that thinks I'm a complete idiot. He gave me a friendly smile, but I could see the question in his eyes. How do you always get yourself in the middle of these things? I know, man, I'm wondering that myself.
First, I have to preface my stories with the fact that I'm not trying to make my school look bad. I do overall feel safe, but these are just two situations that have happened in the last couple months.
A few weeks ago, I was studying on campus on a Saturday afternoon. I usually study in a lounge right inside a main entrance into the school. These doors are usually unlocked until 6 pm on weekends. Around 3, a guy walks in. I can only really see his legs because he was standing in front of a stair case that blocks most of my view. However, he was pacing and talking really loud. I was listening to music and assumed he was on his cell phone. After about 5 minutes, he sits down on some stairs about 50 feet from me and just stares at me. I started feeling the primitive feeling that something just wasn't right. He continued to yell, stare at me, then cuss when I wouldn't answer him. I packed up my stuff and went up to a classroom on another floor.
About 45 minutes later, I went back down and he was gone. I decided to stay down there and continue to study. About 5 minutes later, the cops show up asking about the guy. I told them what happened and they said they were going to look for him. After about an hour, one of the cops came back to see if I was alright. Apparently the guy had called the cops on himself, saying he was wanted, and told them where he was. Smart cookie! The cop assured me that even if I just feel uncomfortable that I should still call the police. He asked if I knew the number. I looked at him with a dumbfounded look....uhhhh 911 was all I could get out with a slight chuckle? The whole while thinking, "Does he not know this has been drilled into my head since before kindergarten?" He looked at me with an equally dumb look, but because he thought I was an idiot. "No, you can call the NON-emergency number"
Today after an MD/PhD meeting, I was walking across campus to get to my next meeting of the day. I called Anthony for a quick hello. As I was passing through the pedestrian bridge, I hear over a walkie-talkie, "......DO NOT APPROACH. He has red hair and is wearing a black trench coat. 6'2"......" Something wasn't right. I turned to my friend to ask what was going on. He didn't know and didn't really seem to care. I hung up with Anthony and started trekking across campus. In the hospital hallway, I stopped to talk with my lab manager about a couple things as she was going back to the lab after working out. A lady comes up to us and asks if we see cops at the end of the hallway. We said no. She repeated that there WERE cops and we needed to get out of here because there was a gunman somewhere with a rifle. Wonderful. We duck into the bathroom and then finally decide to take a few back hallways back to our lab. We made it just fine though we were a little creeped out.
Apparently it ended up not being as big a deal as it was made out. A person was seen with a "potential weapon" but the police couldn't locate them. However, I'm still waiting for my emergency text message that is supposed to alert us when there is a problem on campus.
As I started walking back across campus, I passed the cop that thinks I'm a complete idiot. He gave me a friendly smile, but I could see the question in his eyes. How do you always get yourself in the middle of these things? I know, man, I'm wondering that myself.
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