Grandma

Carlotta Koczorowski

October 2, 1921 - March 29, 2007

One year ago today, my grandmother passed away. I thought today I'd share what I read at her memorial service.

When young children are asked, “What do you want to be when you grown up?” the typical answers are occupations such as a firefighter, teacher, or astronaut. But when I was four and the question was posed to me, I proudly answered, “When I grow up, I want to be a grandma.” Not only did I say it, but my preschool teacher actually wrote it down. This was because of the impression my grandma made on me, even at such a young age, and on everyone else she met. The times I spent with my grandmother have made a lasting impression on my life.

From the time I was little, I can always remember Grandma being in my life. I love spending the night at her apartment in Dundee because she always made sure it was a special time just for her and me. She loved to collect long, dangly, and what some might even consider totally gaudy necklaces. She’d always keep them hanging low enough for me to grab them and spend hours in front of the mirror with them on. We’d also spend time after dinner playing dominoes at the kitchen table. Our rows would get so long; in order to keep them on the table, we’d have to turn them diagonally. We would also go and play bingo down in the common area. Grandma would always keep bingo chips, a magnetic wand, and change in a change purse especially for me. I always had a great time, even if I didn’t win a whole lot. We’d return home and get ready for bed. Grandma would turn on her hypnosis relaxation tape, we’d practice our deep breathing exercises, and we’d drift off to sleep together.

And it seems like I woke up and 10 years had passed. At sixteen, I was driving and loving my new found freedom. Even with this invigorating transformation, I tried to spend time with Grandma. She and I would have lunch dates at Big Boy near her apartment. We’d sit, talk, and usually complain about the cleanliness. If she wasn’t coming to stay at our house that weekend, I would run her by the grocery store to pick up necessities. I’m glad I could help her and spend time with her at the same time. During that time, she would also come and support me at softball games, awards ceremonies, and my high school graduation.

However, after graduation came and went, I moved off to Iowa for college. Though the miles made it tough to keep in close contact with Grandma, I would always take time on vacations away from school to visit. Mom, Grandma, and I would take trips to the mall where we’d sit and people-watch. But for Grandma, watching always turned into starting up a conversation with a total stranger, she was just that friendly with anyone she came in contact with. We’d also go to Mr. Freeze where she would get a small cup of chocolate ice cream, sometimes even with a face. Without fail, after being handed the cup, she would announce with wide eyes that there was a lot of ice cream and she didn’t know how she was going to finish it. She would always manage.

Grandma and Mom also made a trip out to Iowa to visit me. I got to show them around campus and the city. They came during Homecoming Weekend, so we had dinner with a few of my friends and then watched the parade downtown. I was really happy that I got to share my new life with Grandma.

As time moved closer to college graduation and the beginning of med school, Grandma’s health began to decline and she moved into the Goerlich Center or the Garlic Center as Grandma fondly called it. Even during that time, she would always have a smile, a laugh, and an “I love you” every time I went to visit. We’d take walks down to the birdcage to watch the birds build nests and answer our calls. We’d also spend time talking and laughing with the staff. They were amazing with her. They treated her as more of a friend than a patient. On my last visit, a few days before Grandma passed away, she had missed dinner because she was sleeping. Once she woke up, Mom brought me some food and I started feed her. She sat there peacefully, like a young child covered with a blanket and I fed her. We didn’t talk, nothing needed to be said. I was there to help and support her when she needed me most. At that moment, Grandma taught me so much about humility and the human spirit. It was a very special moment that she and I shared.

The whole journey Grandma experience in life and the part that I got to share with her has given me a deep and profound purpose in life. I knew after seeing the battle my grandmother fought and the struggle my family experience that I wanted to devote my life to treating patients with Alzheimer’s disease and hopefully finding better treatments and possibly a cure. Grandma has given me the strength and resolve to embark on a twenty year educational process. And I will think about her every day. She will be a part of every patient I treat and we will be a part of every family I counsel and guide.

Though my dream at four years old of being a grandma probably won’t pay the bills, even then, I knew that my grandmother was and would continue to be an inspirational person in my life. She made a lasting impression on me and will continue to be a guiding force for me. I’ll never forget all the memories Grandma and I made together and I know, today, Grandma has all those memories of our special times back, too.